Dreams
by raisingme
Summary: A one-shot set sometime towards the end of season 4. Life gets the better of Holly, and then...(you have to read it to find out what happens, duh).


"I don't even like you!"

The moment the words left Holly's mouth, she regretted them. A look of disgust and horror immediately formed on her face, before she came completely undone. Her shoulders slumped and her head fell forward as she began crying, no, sobbing, uncontrollably. Through her tears she was able to choke out an _I'm sorry_ and an _I didn't mean it_, but she wasn't even sure that the other woman could hear her. The truth was, Holly **was** sorry that she had said that, and she didn't actually mean it. It was simply her pathetic attempt at lashing out. It was the kind of insult that an 8 year old would tell a classmate on the playground, but it was the best that Holly could come up with at the time, after having such a bad day.

Scratch that...bad few days, actually.

Okay, really a bad week. Holly had had a terrible, no good, very bad week. And here Gail was, trying to make things better, and when they didn't turn out perfectly, Holly had snapped. It wasn't even that Gail had done anything wrong; she hadn't. Rather someone else had messed up, but Holly just couldn't handle it. Everything that could possibly gone wrong had the past week, and today was just when everything had come to a head.

Her face in her hands now, she gently slid off the couch to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her body and wrapped her arms around them. She desperately wished that the Earth would swallow her up whole, but it was refusing to cooperate. Holly couldn't believe that she had snapped at Gail like that. They had been friends for a few months now, and if Holly was honest with herself, the officer was her best friend. They had quickly become close, and what Holly loved most about their friendship was that they could, and did, tell each other everything.

Except for this past week. This past week the doctor had kept to herself. For whatever reason, she didn't want to burden Gail with all the problems that she had been having. And they weren't even really problems, but rather one unfortunate 'thing' after another. Gail being Gail though, had figured out that **something** was up, and made it her mission to try to make it all better. Holly realized that was another reason Gail was her best friend. In her 30 plus years on this planet, she could never recall having another friend who was as loyal and caring as Gail.

Gail.

Gail who was still in her living room, sitting on the large, overstuffed chair that she loved. Holly suddenly felt sick to her stomach and prayed to whoever was listening that the Earth would in fact open up and swallow her whole. She slowly stretched her legs out in front of her, and slightly lifted her head up as she pulled her hands away. Yep, Gail was still there, sitting on the chair. Holly couldn't read her face. The fact that she was still crying and her ability to see through her own tears wasn't all that great was surely at least part of the reason she couldn't tell what Gail was feeling. The blonde continued to sit there and just watch Holly for a few more minutes before getting up.

Holly's face immediately feel back into her hands, as she began sobbing again. Gail was leaving because Holly had been an ass. After dealing with the week from hell, the doctor was now going to have to deal with losing her best friend. She tried to take a few steadying breaths. Holly desperately wanted to calm down enough to properly apologize to Gail. Maybe the officer would be willing to hear her out.

When Holly finally looked up she was startled to see Gail's face so close to her own. She was sitting on her knees, straddling Holly's legs, very much in her personal space. Gail's eyes were so...Holly didn't even know what the word to describe them was. They were just so deep, and blue, and full of concern. She didn't understand why they would be looking at her like that, not now. Not after what Holly said. Not after the way she had been acting towards Gail all day. Not after she had shut her out all week. She watched as Gail's hands moved from her own thighs to the sides of Holly's head on the couch cushions.

And somehow, both slowly and suddenly, Gail leaned forward and gently and sweetly kissed Holly. The kiss lasted, at most, 3 seconds. Yet to Holly it felt like it had been 3 hours. She couldn't believe how soft Gail's lips were. She couldn't believe that such a simple kiss could leave her feeling so much lighter, like the burdens of this past week had been lifted. She couldn't believe how comforting and reassuring a kiss from Gail could be.

She couldn't believe that Gail kissed her.

Holly's mind began to race. Gail had kissed. But **why** had Gail kissed her. Was it simply to reassure her that she didn't hate Holly because of what she said earlier? Friends can kiss each other, right? Holly had never kissed any of her other 'friends' like that though. Surely it couldn't be more than that though. Gail **was** straight...right?

Holly's train of thought was broken when she felt Gail's forehead pressed against her own.

"Hey," the officer first broke the silence. "I'm not mad at you...about what you just said, or anything else, okay?"

"Okay."

"And it's okay if you don't like me." Gail slowly pulled back slightly before continuing. "But I like you. I _like_ like you."

Holly was shocked. She would have been lying if she said she she only had 'friend feelings' towards Gail, but she had done her best to suppress those thoughts. She had never expected the blonde to ever say anything like that. "You do?" she whispered.

"I do. And I probably have for a little while, but I didn't realize it until today. It wasn't until I saw how much you were hurting that I knew. I...when I found out how badly everything had gone, all I wanted to do was fix it for you. I wanted to _save the day_, and not so that I could be some big hero, but just because I care about you so much that I can't stand to even think of you being in pain. That's when it all clicked."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so…" Gail began to shift uncomfortably. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have done that. I just, I just didn't know what else to do. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, and that I know that everything sucks right now, but it's okay. I mean, it's not okay that everything sucks...but it's okay that you're having a bad week. And it's okay if you lash out and-"

"No, Gail, it's not. I-"

And then suddenly Gail's lips were on Holly's once again. And just as quickly they were gone.

"Yes, it is. Because I know that it's not the real you. I know that it's just because everything sucks so much right now. I know the real you, Holly. I'm not jumping out of the tree just because the wind blows the branches."


End file.
